Why am I here?

Why Blog about my journey to running a half marathon and loosing a ton of weight in the process? This is kind of my last hope. I have been trying to do those 2 above mentioned things for over 3 years now. To be put literally: I have failed. My goal is to use this in an effort for me to vent or just organize my thoughts. 

Why run a half marathon? I once trained for and completed a 5 mile race. It was quite simply the best feeling in the world. After all the sweat and tears that went into the training, crossing that finish line was a great accomplishment for a girl who, before training, could not complete 1/2 mile without collapsing. Oh, and to loose weight. 

Why loose weight? Where to begin on this one? I am not happy with my current weight. I have gained 30 pounds in the recent months on top of the weight I already needed to loose. I cannot enjoy summer activities such as float trips, swimming, boating, etc. etc. This bothers me. I understand, some people are bigger then me and some will say "You are skinnier then me, you shouldn't complain", and yes, this might be true, but I obsess about how I look when I am this overweight. I am not happy with myself right now. I want to look good for myself and my amazing boyfriend who deserves a hot skinny bitch. :) 

My weight has been an issue for as long as I can remember. I have always been a good 20-50 pounds heavier then I should be. I have often lusted over designer clothing and jeans that I could not squeeze my right ass cheek into. I go to clubs and instead of enjoying the company or band, I look at the skinny bitches and try to imagine what would change in my life if I weighed the same as her. I also think to myself at work: I wonder how many of these guys say things like "Man Lauren has really packed on the pounds". 

The truth of the matter is this: I do not want to be worrying about my weight anymore. What a waste of my time and energy. If I spent 1/2 that time I think about my weight reading or researching something...I'd be a friggin genius people. Also, I find it kind of sad when women with children obsess about their weight. It is a terrible trait to pass on to their chitlens and isn't fair to the kid (heellllo eating disorder. 

My plan of attack is to blog once a week, tracking my running and weight loss progress. 
Here we go!